Mis-Heard Beach Boys Lyrics

NOTE: Some of this might get a little steamy; read with caution! Click here to contribute.

REAL LYRIC: "When day is over..."
HEARD AS: "Wendy is eight years old..." [Contributed unwittingly by Richard Harris]

All I Wanna Do

REAL LYRIC: "My love is burning brightly."
HEARD AS: "Mike Love is burning brightly." [Contributed by Samuli Koivuranta]

All Summer Long

REAL LYRIC: "When we rode our horse we got some thrills."
HEARD AS: "When we wrote your sweet cousin true..." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]
HEARD AS: "We rolled in horse meat all year through..." [Contributed by Edward Whittaker]

REAL LYRIC: "But not for us, now."
HEARD AS: "Let's jerk off now." [Contributed by Ecohen101@aol.com]

And Your Dream Comes True

REAL LYRIC: "You're so sleepy..."
HEARD AS: "You're so sickening..." [Contributed unwittingly by Andrew G. Doe, who saw this on a Japanese lyrics sheet]

Barbara Ann

Thom Danicki [aq694@detroit.freenet.org] says "The first time I showed my family a home-made cassette of the Beach Boys I had made, I was asked 'What's this "Barbara Ann" listed?' When the song played, they all said 'Oh! We always thought that song was about "Bob-A-Ram!"'"

REAL LYRIC: "Went to a dance, looking for romance..."
HEARD AS: "Went to a dance, looking for a man..." [Contributed by David McKay, who thought the singer was, perhaps, a detective; NOT implying homosexuality! :) ]
HEARD AS: "...lookin' for my pants..." [Contributed by N. Rains]

REAL LYRIC: "Saw Barbara Ann so I thought I'd take a chance..."
HEARD AS: "Saw Barbara Ann and then I dropped my pants..." [Contributed by mtsprowl@ix.netcom.com]
HEARD AS: "...so I thought I'd take her pants..." [Contributed bydbn429@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "...stuck my hand down her pants..." [Contributed by JEG1RN@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "...danced with Betty Lou, tried Mary Lou but I knew she wouldn't do..."
HEARD AS: "...did the boogaloo, went to the zoo and I saw a tiger poo..." [Interpretation by Dave Barry]

REAL LYRIC: "Barbara Ann..."
HEARD AS: "Bop-or-ran" ⁽¹⁾
HEARD AS: "Bomb Iran" ⁽²⁾
HEARD AS: "Bob Buran" ⁽³⁾

1. Contributed by jostens21@aol.com, who after finding out the CORRECT lyric, still preferred to sing "Barber Ann."
2. Contributed by John at Krikke Computer Systems, who STILL prefers "Bomb Iran."
3. Contributed by Ron Bude, who couldn't figure out why the Beach Boys were singing about this unknown man

REAL LYRIC: "Just like you would to your girl or guy"
WRITTEN AS: "Just like you would to your girl guys"

From the lyric sheet inside the Japanese (?) issue of Best of the Beach Boys

REAL LYRIC: "Rah rah rah rah sis boom bah"
HEARD AS: "Rye rye rye rye Cisco's the guy" [Contributed by Remington Horowitz]

REAL LYRIC: "Come Friday we'll be jacked up at the football game..."
HEARD AS: "Come Friday we'll be jackin' off at the football game..." [Contributed by dbn429@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Seagulls over the sea..."
HEARD AS: "Seagull's odor of pee..." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]

REAL LYRIC: "And we once rode a cab by the Salt Lake City, now..."
HEARD AS: "And we once rode a cow..." [Contributed by Dave Hurtle. Thanks to Mr. Hurtle, I had to LISTEN to "Brian's Back" to get the correct lyrics. YOU WILL PAY, HURTLE!!!!!!!! -- Daub.]

REAL LYRIC: "Who ran the iron horse?"
HEARD AS: "Too many islanders." [Contributed by Remington Horowitz]

California Girls

REAL LYRIC: "I wish they all could be California girls."
HEARD AS: "I wish they offered me California girls." [Mis-heard by Louanne Courtright's 9-year-old son.]
HEARD AS: "I wish them off the beach, California girls." [Contributed by russelldb@megsinet.net]
HEARD AS: "I wish they offered free California girls." [Contributed by "Buffalo" Bill Benson]

REAL LYRIC: "I dig a French bikini on Hawaiian island dolls by a palm tree in the sand."
HEARD AS: "I dig a fringe bikini, all the while eyes crossed on the poetry in the sand." [Contributed by Dona McCaffrey]
HEARD AS: "A wild albatross..." [Contributed by h3rr3tt@ix.netcom.com]
HEARD AS: "A wide island doll..." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]
HEARD AS: "...on a white elephant..." [Contributed by Mary Fitzgerald]
HEARD AS: "I dig a French bikini on Donny Osmond..." [Contributed by dbn429@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "I dig a fresh bikini on a wild island horse..." [Contributed by Brian Jones]
HEARD AS: "...and Hawaiian isle lacrosse..." [Contributed by Amie June Brumble]
HEARD AS: "I dig a fresh bikini on the wild island gulls..." [Contributed by Tad and Iris Stoner]
HEARD AS: "I dig a fresh zucchini off the wine island gulf." [Contributed by Ben Cook-Feltz]
HEARD AS: "...by a poultry in the sand" [Contributed by DRMOTH@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "...buyin' laundry in the sand..." [Contributed by lovebug66@erols.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Everybody tries it once."
HEARD AS: "Your mother drives a bug." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]

REAL LYRIC: "That's all there is to the coastline craze."
HEARD AS: "That's all there is to the cosine craze."
[contributed by admitted math geek David Wildstrom]

REAL LYRIC: [bass vocal] "Every Saturday, boy..."
HEARD AS: "Suck a dick, boy..." [contributed by MANY people]

Kaj Olsen [kkolsen@indiana.edu] says:
"My wife thinks the chorus of 'Chery Cherry Coupe' sounds like 'cherry cherry gouk.' She's Oriental, so she's hypersensitive to the term. :) "

REAL LYRIC: "...with louvers on the hood."
HEARD AS: "...with bluebirds on my hood." [Contributed by Steve Johnson]

REAL LYRIC: "Gary likes a girl's tight black pants."
HEARD AS: "Gary likes a girl's tied-back hands." [Contributed by Darrell Hahn]

REAL LYRIC: "Check my custom machine."
HEARD AS: "Check my custard machine." [Mis-heard by Donna Norris's 8-year-old son]

REAL LYRIC: "I love to dance, right on the spot"
WRITTEN AS: "I love to dance, right after school" and "I got a ticket right on the spot"

From the lyric sheet inside the Japanese (?) issue of Best of the Beach Boys

REAL LYRIC: "Dance, dance, dance, now the beat's really hot."
HEARD AS: "Dance, dance, dance, now my dick's really hard."

Contributed by Jester [moocow@asu.edu]

REAL LYRIC: "When I've been put down, I try to shake it off quick/With my chick by my side, the radio does the trick"
WRITTEN AS: "When it's petered down, I try..../......, the radio doesn't give"

From the lyric sheet inside the Japanese (?) issue of Best of the Beach Boys

REAL LYRIC: "At a weekend dance, I like to show up last/I play it cool when it's slow, jump right in when it's fast"
WRITTEN AS: "Had a weak lean of gas, well I sure could fly/I played it cool this morning just to be on the sky"

From the lyric sheet inside the Japanese (?) issue of Best of the Beach Boys

REAL LYRIC: "I hold you in my heart as life's most precious part."
HEARD AS: "I hold you in my heart and slice those precious parts." [Contributed by Patrick Gleason]

REAL LYRIC: "I dream about you often, my pretty darlin'."
HEARD [by WCKG's Steve Dahl, Chicago] AS: "I got to get you off of my pretty girl list."
HEARD AS: "Oh darlin' wont you offer my credit card bills?" [submitted by Rune Foss]

REAL LYRIC: "I was living like half a man."
HEARD AS: "I was living like Captain Man." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]
HEARD AS: "I was living like Candyman." [Contributed by Remington Horowitz]
HEARD AS: "I was living like Apple Man." [contributed by geofftennant@geocities.com]
HEARD AS: "I was living like cabin man..." [Contributed by Slymebri@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "You pick me up when I'm feelin' sad..."
HEARD AS: "You beat me up when I'm feelin' sad..." [contributed by Gordon Scougale]

REAL LYRIC: "Always had our love..."
HEARD AS: "Always enema..." [Contributed by Dan Byndas]

REAL LYRIC: "It'd be a peaceful life with a forever wife..."
HEARD AS: "...with a foreigner wife..." [Contributed by Tom Urbanski]

REAL LYRIC: "It's automatic when I talk with old friends..."
HEARD AS: "It's automatic and it starts with Coke..." [Contributed by Andrew Prokop]
ALSO HEARD AS: "I called a medic when we talked to old friends..." [Contributed by Alex Haapaniemi]

REAL LYRIC: "...warmed up weather, let's get together and do it again."
HEARD AS: "Warmed up feather dust, get together..." [Contributed by matthew@ctonline.net]
HEARD AS: "...warm duck feather..." [Contributed by Nels Dumin]

REAL LYRIC: "Don't worry, baby."
HEARD AS: "Note blurry baby..." [Contributed by Meagan S.]

REAL LYRIC: "And makes me come alive..."
HEARD AS: "And makes me carmelize..." [Contributed by Remington Horowitz]

REAL LYRIC: "...or the cat dressed in white'll scare you both to death..."
HEARD AS: "...or the cat pissin' white..." [Contributed by Claire Jones]
HEARD AS: "...or the cat Vincent Price..." [Contributed by Terence Martell]

REAL LYRIC: "So I'm goin' away..."
HEARD AS: "So I'm fartin' in bed..." [Contributed by Smarte116@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "My four-speed dual quad positraction 409."
HEARD AS: "My four-speed dual cod, pause-in-traction 409." [Contributed by Lee Sherman]

Fun, Fun, Fun

REAL LYRIC: "Seems she forgot all about the library..."
HEARD AS: "Seems she forgot all about the wide prairie...." [Contributed by Mark Rowan]

REAL LYRIC: "She drives like an ace..."
HEARD AS: "She drives like an ape..." [contributed by Joshua Hutchens]

REAL LYRIC: "She makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman chariot race now."
HEARD AS: "...a rolling cherry in race now." [contributed by Bob Campbell]

REAL LYRIC: "She'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away."
HEARD AS: "She'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the teabag away."
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her TV away." [Contributed by Susanna Powell]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her t-shirt away." [Contributed by ddpleo@arco.com]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her cheetah away." [Contributed by Dee Judd]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes the tuba away." [Contributed by Heidi Higgs]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her to her wake." [Contributed by John M. Jackson]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her peepers away." [Contributed by Miranda Duncan]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes her cheap bird away." [Contributed by strzad@gte.net]
HEARD AS: "...till her daddy takes the teapot away." [Contributed by R. J. Miller]

REAL LYRIC: "She makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman chariot race, now"
WRITTEN AS: "She makes an easy 500 look like a Roman chariot race, now"

From the lyric sheet inside the Japanese (?) issue of Best of the Beach Boys

REAL LYRIC: "Shouldn't have lied..."
HEARD AS: "Shooting the line..." [Contributed by Jill & Katie Young, whose father mis-heard this line for over 30 years]

HEARD AS: "Got on my nose..." by the sister of robhb@dc.net

REAL LYRIC: "When I give her my love it's between her and me."
HEARD AS: "When I give her my love it's between her knees." [Contributed by gasp@cam.org]

REAL LYRIC: "I hear the sound of the gentle word..."
HEARD AS: "I hear the sound of the Churchill room..." [Contributed by Mrs. Kenneth Dembowski, whose husband, 9-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son SWEAR that these are the lyrics!]
HEARD AS: "I hear the sound of the Churchill bird..." [Contributed by slymebri@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "I hear the sound of the church organ..." [Contributed by omhdorset@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "...on the wind that lifts her perfume through the air."
HEARD AS: "...on the wind that lifts her skirt right through the air." [Contributed by Andrew Bee]

REAL LYRIC: "She's giving me excitiations."
HEARD AS: "She's giving me head citations." [Contributed by Elaine Eaton]
HEARD AS: "She's given me ex wide Asians." [Contributed by Cherry Morris]

REAL LYRIC: "Good, good, good, good vibrations..."
HEARD AS: "Good, good, good, goodbye raisins..." [Contributed by Penny Osier]
HEARD AS: "Good, good, good, goodbye Bridget..." [Contributed by lbunis@nova.umuc.edu]

REAL LYRIC: "I don't know where but she sends me there."
HEARD AS: "I don't know whether she's ten feet ten." [Contributed by John Lonergan]

REAL LYRIC: "Gotta keep those lovin' good vibrations happenin' with her."
HEARD AS: "Gotta keep Roosevelt good vibrations have men with her." [Contributed by Bob Malone]

REAL LYRIC: "Oh, my, my, heart elation..."
HEARD AS: "Oh, my, my ovulation..." [Contributed by lizbarnes@entity.net.au]
HEARD AS: "Oh, my, my copulation..." [Contributed by Bob Malone]

REAL LYRIC: "I'll load my dice and stack the deck and fix the odds again."
HEARD AS: "I'll load my guys and suck a d*** in fifty yards again." [Contributed by LevityBall@cs.com]

He Gives Speeches [early version of "She's Goin' Bald"]

REAL LYRIC: "He gives speeches, but they put him back in bed where he wrote his satire."
HEARD AS: "He gives pizzas, buttered it up in bread roasted with sapphires." [Contributed, on behalf a friend, by Albert Wollmer, professor of Smile studies, University of California, Berkeley]

Help Me, Rhonda

REAL LYRIC: "Well since she put me down I've been out doin' in my head."
HEARD AS:

• Well, since she put me down there's an owl pukin' in my head.
• Well, since she put me down I've been out doin' it with my hand.
• Well, since she put me down I've been out of tune in my head.
• ...I've been out pukin' in my hat.
• ...I've been out doin' Mr. Ed.
• ...I've got owls hootin' in my head.

REAL LYRIC: "...and in the morning I just lay in bed."
HEARD AS: "...and in the morning I just play in bed." [Contributed by russelldb@megsinet.net]

REAL LYRIC: "...and it shattered our plans..."
HEARD AS: "...and the s**t hit the fan..." [contributed by AFiction69@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Help me, Rhonda..."
HEARD AS: "Happy Hanukkah..." [Contributed by pc.lavin@mci2000.com, whose mother was the victim of this mondegreen!]
HEARD AS: "Help me ride her..." [Contributed by D3100@msn.com when six years old]
HEARD AS: "Hefty bunny, hef-hefty bunny..." [Contributed by Mrs. Kenneth Dembrowski, whose daughter's friend Lauren first thought these were the words.]
HEARD AS: "Health department, health health department..." [Contributed by Rob Meurer, who "knew a guy who thought" those were the words.]
HEARD AS: "Happy buns, hap-happy buns..." [Contributed by Erika L]

REAL LYRIC: "Help me, Rhonda, yeah, get her out of my heart."
HEARD AS: "...eat her out of my heart." [Contributed by RisaBush@aol.com, reflecting on childhood memories; I personally blame Mike Love for this one. -- Daub.]
HEARD AS: "Help me, runts, oh yeah, get her out of my car." [Contributed by Daniel M.]

REAL LYRIC: "...but I'm the guy she left before you found her."
HEARD AS: "...but I'm the guy she left, a forty-pounder." [Contributed by David Wildstrom]
HEARD AS: "Other guys she ate before you drowned her." [Contributed by Mr. R. J. Giddings]

REAL LYRIC: "She made my days go wrong and made my nights so long."
HEARD AS: "...and made my nuts so long." [Contributed by Bill Larson]

REAL LYRIC: "I've been taken for lost and gone and unknown for a long long time..."
HEARD AS: "I've been lookin' for a long thin nose and a goat for a long long time..." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]
HEARD AS: "I've been taken for Boston-gone..." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]

REAL LYRIC: "Fell in love years ago with an innocent girl from the Spanish and Indian home of the heroes and villains."
HEARD AS: "...the Spanish amphibious home of the heroes and villains." [Contributed by Matthew Ridley]

REAL LYRIC: "Just see what you've done..."
HEARD AS: "Tennessee is where you've gone..." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]

REAL LYRIC: "Stand or fall, I know there shall be peace in the valley..."
HEARD AS: "Stand before Lionel Blair, shove your piece in the valley..." [Contributed by Wilks Harris]

REAL LYRIC: "They started slow long ago..."
HEARD AS: "They started smoke long ago..." [Contributed by "Uncle Bill" Hild]

The original Smile version has the famous "in the cantina" section. The misinterpreted lyric comes in the line "Dance, Margarita, don't you know that I love you."

Dave Foyle offers this possibilty:

"Dance, Maragarita, don't you know that candy apple pee."

REAL LYRIC: "I'm gettin' bugged drivin' up and down the same old strip..."
HEARD AS: "I'm gettin' mugged..." [Contributed by everist88@juno.com]
HEARD AS: "I'm gettin' f***ed..." [Contributed by RisaBush@aol.com as a childhood memory. Kids hear the darnedest things...!] HEARD AS: "I'm gettin' bugs..." [Contributed by Lee Sherman]

REAL LYRIC: "My buddies and me are gettin' real well known..."
HEARD AS: "My buddies are mean..." [contributed by Lisa Courtney]
HEARD AS: "My buddy's a nigger, gettin' real well known, the bag guys know it so they leave us alone." [Contributed by Mr. Steve A. Doman. Please be assured that racism is not the intention; it's just what Mr. Doman and his friends honestly thought they were hearing back in '64.]

REAL LYRIC: "I'm a real cool head, I'm makin' real good bread..."
HEARD AS: "I'm a record chef, I'm baking real good bread..." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]
HEARD AS: "I'm a real cool chick, I'm making lots of d**k..." [sipseygirl@aol.com swears that's what she heard!]
HEARD AS: "Mama, lookie here, I'm makin' real good bread..." [Contributed by pk47@mail.com]
HEARD AS: "I'm a referee. I'll make you flip your friends." [Contributed by lovebug66@erols.com]
HEARD AS: "I get around, om towl oooo owl, armour ree coo here, Are maker ree good breen." [Contributed by nnomates@bigpond.net.au]

REAL LYRIC: "And we've never missed yet with the girls we meet..."
HEARD AS: "And we never miss t*t..." [Contributed by Anthony Spinelli]
HEARD AS: "...with the Turtles we meet..." [Contributed by Mark Goodwin]

REAL LYRIC: "They trip through the day and waste all their thoughts at night."
HEARD AS: "They trip through the day and waste all their pocketknives." [Contriuted by Tfaix@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Shades of blue and purple haunt me."
HEARD AS: "Shades of blue and purple heart meat." [Contributed by Alice Amore]

REAL LYRIC: "I need to take this fear and force it down."
HEARD AS: "I need to take this beer and force it down." [Contributed by Greg Fernandez]

REAL LYRIC: "Tossed and I turned, my head was so heavy. And I wondered as it got light were you still awake like me?"
HEARD AS: "...were you still a weight like me?" [Contributed by Jeff Burdon, whose five-year-old son misheard the lyrics. I added italics/underscore around certain words to point out the "irony." Thanks, Jeff!]

REAL LYRIC: "Bermuda, Bahama..."
HEARD AS: "Computer, banana..." [Contributed by David Lonergan]
HEARD AS: "...bah humbug..." [Contributed by Jerry Gardner, adding "from the bass guy in the background"]
HEARD AS: "Be nude or be common..." [Contributed by Catherine Madeja, as mis-heard by her friend]
HEARD AS: "Bermuda, your mama..." [Contributed by Bob Malone]

REAL LYRIC: "Key Largo, Montego..."
HEARD AS: "Key Largo, mah negro..." [Contributed by Keldy Hamilton]

REAL LYRIC: "Tropical drink melting in your hand..."
HEARD AS: "Drop the cocaine, nothing in our hands..." [Contributed by dragonfaerie@acenet.co.za who, for the record, when quoting what the lyrics should be, even got THOSE wrong! But not entertaining enough to include!]
HEARD AS: "Ice skating rink melting in Iran..." [Contributed by Drew Jensen]
HEARD AS: "Chocolate cookie melting in my hand..." [Contributed by mly@mailcity.com]
HEARD AS: "Tropical cake melting in your hand..." [Contributed by mollyl@netcom.ca, turning this already-bad song into another "MacArthur Park!" -- Daub.]

REAL LYRIC: "We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band..."
HEARD AS: "...a steel-yum band..." [Contributed by Mesina]
HEARD AS: "...a real dumb band..." [Contributed by Laura Ramirez]

REAL LYRIC: "Ooh, I wanna take you to the Kokomo..."
HEARD AS: "Ooh, I wanna drink it from a cocoa mug." [Submitted by D. Harris]

REAL LYRIC: "We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band."
HEARD AS: "We'll be falling in love, set the rhythm when the sheik comes fast." [Contributed by Michael Malto]
HEARD AS: "We'll be falling in love with the rhythm when the sheep comes past." [Contributed by Michael Malto, a line suggested by his brother]

REAL LYRIC: "Give me a tropical contact high..."
HEARD AS: "Cockpit contact eye..." [Contributed by Nicholas Kelly]

REAL LYRIC: "Martinique, that Montserrat mystique..."
HEARD AS: "...Vermont's a rotten state..." [Contributed by Dave DeLang, saying that it's heard this way by just about everybody in Vermont]
HEARD AS: "...The mounds of rotten steak..." [Contributed by Lisa Argabright]
HEARD AS: "...the man's a rotten sneak..." [Contributed by Richard James]
HEARD AS: "...I mount the rotten steak..." [Contributed by Drew Jensen]
HEARD AS: "I want to bake a mozzarella cake." [Contributed by jerrylyn@pldi.net]
HEARD AS: "Mark's a sneak, that monster raw mystique!" [ditto]
HEARD AS: "The car, my feet, the Mata Hari stinks." [Contributed by Jerry Gardner]
HEARD AS: "...that monster rotten stink..." [Contributed by roland@qn.net]
HEARD AS: "Martin thinks you mom's a rotten sink." [Contributed by Lins Folger.]
HEARD AS: "I want to make that Montserrat mistake." [Contributed by Jarad Hart]
HEARD AS: "Omar, Chenique, a rocky mountain stink." [Contributed by Ben Cook-Feltz]
HEARD AS: "Marinate that Monterey steak." [Contributed by Regina Falcetto]
HEARD AS: "...that monster out at sea." [Contributed by antihamnet@hotmail.com]
HEARD AS: "I want to eat that mound of rotten steak." [Contributed by Suzanne Polay]
HEARD AS: "Martinique and Montserrat do stink." [Contributed by Bob Malone]
HEARD AS: "...your mom's a rotten snake." [Contributed by pressdemo9@iopener.net]
HEARD AS: "...I wanna catch a snake." [Contributed by Mandy J]

REAL LYRIC: "The great Pacific Ocean expanded..."
HEARD AS: "The great Pacific Ocean Hispanic..." [Contributed by Lenny Supera]

REAL LYRIC: "Well, he can have his freedom."
HEARD AS: "Well, he has grass that's greener." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]

REAL LYRIC: "...the color of an endless dream."
HEARD AS: "...the cover of an endless tree." [Contributed by Lenny Supera]

REAL LYRIC: "We won't be stopping for red lights."
HEARD AS: "We won't be stopping for head lice."

REAL LYRIC: "To get you, babe, I went through the wringer."
HEARD AS: "To get to bed I went through the wringer." [Contributed by Lenny Supera]

First, a word about the line "...one more thing, I got the pink slip, daddy..." Yes, that IS "pink slip," I don't care what ANYBODY tells you. "Pink slip" refers to a car's ownership papers. Want proof? Watch the movie Grease, the Thunder Road scene. (Note--the MOVIE, NOT the stage show!!! Unless you know of a stage show that actually DOES the Thunder Road scene -- now, THAT would be quite a feat!) The Scorpions explain the rules, saying that they're racing for "pinks"--further elaborating: "Pink slips, ya know? Ownership papers!"

HEARD AS: "Little blue scoop..." [Contributed by about a jillion people]
HEARD AS: "Little loose screw..." [Contributed by Maggie Barclay]
HEARD AS: "Little poop scoop..." [Contributed by Chris Muriel]

REAL LYRIC: "Well, I'm not braggin, babe..."
HEARD AS: "Well, I'm not pregnant, babe..." [Contributed by siss-el.@online.no]

REAL LYRIC: "If I had a set of wings, man, I know she could fly."
HEARD AS: "...man, an ocean could fly." [Contributed by sfenich@pop.erols.com]
HEARD AS: "If I had a set of winged men I know that would fly." [Contributed by dbn429@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "She's my little deuce coupe. You don't know what I got."
HEARD AS: "Oh, you're my little loose tooth. You don't know what I got." [Mis-heard by the seven-year-old daughter of Sherri Arnold]
HEARD AS: "Little two scoop, you don't know that I'm gone." [Contributed by lowatt@execpc.com]
HEARD AS: "Little bit scoop, Mr. Know-What-I-Got..." [mis-heard by Rebecca Phillips' 3-year-old son]
HEARD AS: "Little douche poop, vinegar in my eye..." [Contributed by Drew Jensen]
HEARD AS: "My little moose-coop..." [Contributed by (anonymous)]
HEARD AS: "She's my little bit of skirt..." [as mis-heard by Christine Boggis's mum]

REAL: "And she purrs like a kitten 'til the lake pipes roar."
HEARD AS: And she purrs like a kitten 'til the lake bites roar." [Contributed by Danil Warren]
HEARD AS: "And She Purrs Like A Kitten 'Til The Late Bikes Read"
HEARD AS: "And She Purrs Like A Kitten 'Til The Late Night Roars"

[Last two contributions are from Daniel Simonson.]

REAL LYRIC: "I get pushed outta shape..."
HEARD AS: "I get goose-down shade..." [Contributed by Marcia Foster]

REAL LYRIC: "Faster, faster..."
HEARD AS: "Bastard, bastard..." [Contributed by rrowell@wave.co.nz]

REAL LYRIC: "It's more fun than a barrell of monkeys, that two-wheeled bike."
HEARD AS: "It's more fun than a barrell of monkeys that do it right." [Contributed by Claire Jones]
HEARD AS: "It's more fun than a barrell of monkeys with two in a fight." [Contributed by Jim Morgan]
HEARD AS: "It's more fun than a barrell of monkeys that chew and bite." [Contributed by YoungsWW@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "It climbs hills like a Matchless..."
HEARD AS: "It climbs hills like a mattress..." [Contributed by jandeanla@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "It kinda feels like a mattress..." [Contributed by Ben Falk]
HEARD AS: "It climbs hills like a matchbox..." [Contributed by David & Deanna McKinney]

[Yes, I know, it's a Jan and Dean song. BUT (this is mainly for the Morlocks) the Beach Boys performed and released this song on their 1964 album Beach Boys Concert; in fact, the first misheard line can only be heard in the Beach Boys' version.]

REAL LYRIC: "...with her four-speed stick and a 426 now..."
HEARD AS: "...with her four-spiked stick and her great love for sex, now..." [Contributed by Julie Haser]

REAL LYRIC: "...she can't keep her foot off the accelerator..."
HEARD AS: "...she can't keep her butt off the accelerator..." [Contributed by eklloyd@email.msn.com]

REAL LYRIC: "We'll barnstorm down and buzz the rooster on the weathervane..."
HEARD AS: "....the rooster on his wedding day." [Contributed by Ruthie Capella]

REAL LYRIC: "Love and mercy to you and your friends tonight."
HEARD AS: "Love and mercy to you and your friend's tuna." [For best results, listen to Live at the Roxy Theatre.]

REAL LYRIC: "I was lyin' in my room and the news came on TV."
HEARD AS: "I was lyin' in my room in the nude..."

REAL LYRIC: "Just pretend your patio's an island in the sun."
HEARD AS: "Just pretend your panty-hose..."

Marcella

REAL LYRIC: "Hey, Marcella..."
HEARD AS: "Hey, my sailor..." [contributed by Goodvibz99@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "...and my dreams just melt away." (IJWMFTT version)
HEARD AS: "...and my beets just melt away." [unwittingly contributed by Andrew Foster]

REAL LYRIC: "You know I close off to you, girl."
HEARD AS: "Took all my clothes off for you, girl."

REAL LYRIC: "Huaraches on his feet..."
HEARD AS: "Archies on his feet..." [Unwittingly contributed by Tim Horrigan]

REAL LYRIC: "He's got a woodie and his dirty white jeans."
HEARD AS: "He's got a woodie in his dirty white jeans." [Contributed by Jamie C. Turner]

REAL LYRIC: "We got a deuce coupe, a Stingray, a railjob and an XKE."
HEARD AS: "We got a deuce coupe, a stingray, a blowjob, and an XKE." [Contributed by Mark Roberts]

REAL LYRIC: "Candlelight, the warmth of the fire..."
HEARD AS: "Candlelight, a walk in the fire..." [Contributed by Ruthie Capella]

Darrell Hahn writes:
"Listening to 'Pom, Pom Play Girl' the other day, I thought I heard 'S**t, she might even run for an office this spring...'"
The background vocals make it sound like the s-word is in there.

REAL LYRIC: "The air I breathe shimmers with your bright perfume."
HEARD AS: "The air I breathe shields from your butt perfume."

REAL LYRIC: "The gale-swept seaways..."
HEARD AS: "The girl-swept seaways..." [Contributed by Gordon Scougale]

REAL LYRIC: "Caught like a sewer rat, alone do I sail..."
HEARD AS: "Hot like some sewer crap, at morning I sail..." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Tach it up, tach it up...."
HEARD AS: "Jack it off, jack it off..." [Contributed by Bob Malone]

REAL LYRIC: "...power shift, here we go..."
HEARD AS: "...power s**t, here we go..." [Contributed by sfenich@pop.erols.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Declining numbers at an even rate..."
HEARD AS: "Deeg Lennon numbers at an even rage..." [Contributed by Julie Haser]
HEARD AS: "Steve climbing numbers..." [Contributed by Lisa Courtney]

Sloop John B

REAL LYRIC: "...Sloop John B..."
HEARD AS: "...puke bumblebee..." [Mis-heard by Kristen Duemuer, age 10, who SWEARS she thought that's what it was at first!]

REAL LYRIC: "Hoist up the John B's sails..."
HEARD AS: "Slurp up the John B's nails..." [Contributed by "Brian Wilson's Pet Rat"]

REAL LYRIC: "See how the mainsail sets."
HEARD AS: "See how the maids have sex." [Contributed by Adam Gilson]

REAL LYRIC: "The poor cook, he caught the fits and threw away all my grits and then he took and he ate up all of my corn."
HEARD AS: "The poor cook, he caught the fist, which threw away all my career..." [Contributed by Mark Means]
HEARD AS: "The poor cook, he caught the s**ts..." [Contributed by Jay Sutton]
HEARD AS: "The floor hook, he got the ribs and Chewy ate all my grits and then he booked and he ate up Oliver's corn." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]
HEARD AS: "...and then he took and he ate a ball of my corns." [Contributed by bigfootlet@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Sherriff John Stone..."
HEARD AS: "Sherriff got stoned..." [Contributed by Sipseygirl@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "I'm hungry and I'm doing lunch with Cameron Diaz."
HEARD AS: "I'm hungry and I'm doing lots of cows in the end." [Contributed by Goodvibz99@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Baby put your top down, parade around down town..."
HEARD AS: "Baby put your top down, rape people 'round down..." [Contributed by Butch Ford]

A few people have mentioned that the line "My thoughts are fleeting now" in "Still I Dream Of It" sounds like "My farts are fleeting now." I can see that...it kinda sounds like that--in both the Adult/Child version and on the demo version on I Just Made For These Times.

REAL LYRIC: "Like a full moon shinin' bright she lights up my darkest nights."
HEARD AS: "Like a phone booth..." [Contributed by Eric Aniversario]

REAL LYRIC: "I have watched you on the shore..."
HEARD AS: "I have lost you on the shore..." [Contributed by Stu Tobin]

REAL LYRIC: "In Huntington and Malibu they're shootin' the pier..."
HEARD AS: "In Huntington and Malibu they're shootin' the beer..." [contributed by Gordon Scougale]
HEARD AS: "In Huntington and Malibu they're shootin' the deer..." [Contributed by Richard Guether]
HEARD AS: "....they're shootin' a bear..." [Contributed by srfgtr71@aol.com]
HEARD AS: "...hunting in the Marlboro, they're shooting the deer..." [Contributed by _chip_99@yahoo.com]

HOWEVER--it's ironic with THIS interpretation, which was originally thought to be "pro-VietNam" propaganda:

REAL LYRICS:

If everybody had an ocean
Across the USA
Then everybody'd be surfin'
Like Californ-I-A
You'd see 'em wearin' their baggies,
Huarache sandals too,
A bushy bushy blond hairdo
Surfin' USA

If everybody had a notion
Across the USA
Then everyone would be servin'
Like in Californ-I-A
You'd see them wearin' their baggy
Head honcho sandals too
A butchy, butchy blond hairdo
Servin' USA

REAL LYRIC: "If everybody had an ocean..."
HEARD AS: "If everybody had a motion..." [Contributed by lizbarnes@entity.net.au]

REAL LYRIC: "Huarache sandals too..."
HEARD AS: "And raunchy sandals, too..." [Contributed by Paul S. Hubert]
HEARD AS: "Mud crunchy sandals, too..." [Contributed by Joachim Anderson]
HEARD AS: "where Archie sent us to..." [Contributed by crayne@interlog.com]
HEARD AS: "Versace sandals, too..." [Contributed by lizbarnes@entity.net.au]
HEARD AS: "Huh, our cheese sandals, too..." [Contributed by Donna Norris]
HEARD AS: "And oggisentoes, too." [Contributed by Julie Harris. Anybody know what an "oggisento" is?]

REAL LYRIC: "At Haggerties and Swamies..."
HEARD AS: "Dan Haggerty and his swami..." [Contributed by crazydon2805@email.msn.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Canvass the town and brush the backdrop..."
HEARD AS: "Canvass the town and brush the Babcock..." [Contributed by Roger Gambrel]
HEARD AS: "Candace, sit down and brush the sand off." [Contributed by Jeffrey Mitchell]

REAL LYRIC: "Hung velvet overtaken me, dim chandelier awaken me..."
HEARD AS: "Young helmet motor shakin' me, dumb chandelier afraid of me..." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Everybody in the back seat suffocated."
HEARD AS: "Everybody in the back seat sucking a d---." [Contributed by normal@grove.ufl.edu]
HEARD AS: "Everybody in in the back seat of a caddie..." [Contributed by Marla Hiltunen]

The line in question is in the fade-out. Nobody's really sure what the background vocals sing, but here are suggestions:

• DAUBER: "Be sweet to your feet, oh..."
• DAVE PROKOPY: "Please pater your feet..."
• DISCLVR: "Pete's feet are happy."
• SMILER: "dee-squeeze-yuppie-yuppie"
• SCOTT RHOADES: "Pete's feet are your feet"

REAL LYRIC: "And I don't need no nepenthe..."
HEARD AS: "And I don't need no Depends, babe."

[The dictionary tells me that "nepenthe" is a potion that the ancient Greeks believed would basically chase away evil. I guess my misinterpretation of "Depends" isn't really that far off! -- Daub.]

REAL LYRIC: "She looked kind of nice..."
HEARD AS: "She looked cotton-eyed..." [Contributed by Mel Benson]

REAL LYRIC: "I remember the day when I chose her over all those old broken junkers..."
HEARD AS: ""I remember the day when I chose her over all those hoes..." [Contributed by snuggleangel1@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "...a tune stays in your head."
HEARD AS: "...a tooth stays in your head." [Unwittingly contributed by William Larson]
HEARD AS: "...a tubesteak in your hand." [Unwittingly contributed by Mike Broadhurst]

REAL LYRIC: "When girls get mad at boys and go, many times they're just putting on a show."
HEARD AS: "When girls get mad at boys they blow any guy who's just putting on a show." [Contributed by thepars@nextdim.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Transcendental meditation should be part of your time..."
HEARD AS: "Traipsin' down that T-shirt's really part of your wine..." [Contributed by thefazes@shol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "Signed sincerely"
HEAD AS: "Sign said Sara Lee." [Contributed by Mark Francis]

REAL LYRIC: "...who couldn't even write their names, shame."
HEARD AS: "...who couldn't even write their names, s**t."

REAL LYRIC: "...passing the Eden of flowers..."
HEARD AS: "Can't seem to eat enough flowers." [Contributed by Jason Stillwell]

REAL LYRIC: "Wouldn't miss it for all of its glory."
HEARD AS: "Wouldn't miss it, for all of it's boring." [Contributed by Remington Horowitz]

REAL LYRIC: "I never thought a guy could cry 'til you made it with another guy..."
HEARD AS: "...'til you mated with another guy..." [Unwittingly contributed by Robert Jennings]

REAL LYRIC: "Will my kids be proud or think their old man's really a square?"
HEARD AS: "...or think their old man's really a queer?" [Contributed by Mike Barnett]
HEARD AS: "...her old man's willy is square..." [Contributed by Ross Fogden]

REAL LYRIC: "Will I still wanna have my share?"
HEARD AS: "Will I still pineapple chair?" [Contributed by Paul Bishop]

REAL LYRIC (background vocals): "Still dig those rocking sounds..."
HEARD AS: "Still dig those sucking sounds..." [Contributed by lightning711@hotmail.com]

REAL LYRIC (background vocals): "Rest of my, rest of my life..."
HEARD AS: "Rest of my f***ing life..." [Contributed by lightning711@hotmail.com]

Randleon@aol.com reminded me that some people hear "Don't lick your c**t" in the goofy laughing and rambling in the Smiley Smile version of "Wonderful," in the "hey baba ruba..." section. Nobody knows what the line REALLY is...because, well...they all sounded like they were high on something when they recorded it...some people think it's supposed to be "Don't think you're God."

REAL LYRIC: "Wouldn't it be nice to live together..."
HEARD AS: "Wouldn't it be nice to leave that Heather..." [Contributed by Roberto St. Orm]

REAL LYRIC: "...then we wouldn't have to wait so long..."
HEARD AS: "...then we wouldn't have to wear our thongs..." [Contributed by queenamy14@aol.com]

REAL LYRIC: "After having spent the day together..."
HEARD AS: "After having breakfast, eggs together..." [Contributed by Rick Zawacki]

REAL LYRIC: Good night, baby. Sleep tight, baby.
HEARD AS: Good night, baby. Sleep on top of me, baby. [Contributed by mark55@airmail.net]

REAL LYRIC: "...your imagination running wild."
HEARD AS: "...your masturbation running wild." [Contributed by Shannon Page's friend Heather Salmons, who "swears up and down" that this is what she heard!]

REAL LYRIC: "...and got to spend it with you."
HEARD AS: "...and got suspended with you." [Contributed by Thomas Mann]